Hey guys! Welcome to our ENGLISH BITES – The simplest, easiest and best way to practice your listening – the only one that is 100% created, executed and delivered from me to you – This is Erika Belmonte speaking and I’ll be more than pleased to be here with you guys three times a week and I’m pretty sure we’ll have a great time together – because more than learning and improving your English, I also want you to have some fun through a very exclusive content.
Oh…. One more thing, in case you need the transcription of this English Bite, please go to www.clubedoingles.com/englishbites and look for the episode number 73.
Why am I going to talk about haters on our episode today? First, because I want to share something that happened to me yesterday on LinkedIn and I think it would be nice for you to know what I think about this situation and second, to spread an important message.
Well, I don’t know if you all know but I also post English tips on LinkedIn and yesterday I had a “hater attack” from one guy that commented on a specific post saying really horrible and mean things about my video and me like “your video is horrible, you are not professional, your makeup is disgusting and so on – and in Portuguese – like, you guys don’t need to know all the details because it’s not something let’s say, pleasant to say or hear… He was definitely, not giving a constructive criticism but I took a deep breath and answered his message politely, apologizing if he didn’t like my content and bla bla. I didn’t want to make war from that but again, he replied with more anger and aggressiveness. Well, I didn’t have any other choice, but banning him from my page.
But wait Erika. Hater Attack? What is a hater?
That’s right! Guys, online ‘haters’ are malicious web users who broadcast hatred and insults whenever they disagree with something or someone. They seek to spread negative opinions and attack a person or an idea.
Ok, now that we on the same page I would like to share my real feelings about all this situation. As soon as I read the message I was like “whata hell?!” but 5 minutes later I felt really sorry about the guy because you know, when people are feeling great and blessed with their lives, they don’t freely and deliberately disseminate hate. Yes, we can disagree, show our different points of view or even give a constructive criticism and these things don’t make us haters. So, besides praying and sending him good vibes (I mean it, positive energy is such a powerful thing) I tried to concentrate myself in some of the rules I follow and that’s the moment you should pay attention and do it in case you have a hater attack – believe me, that will help you a lot:
- Don’t take it personally.
When people communicate online, they are not interacting with you; they’re interacting with a computer screen. The computer is great at disseminating your message to millions, but it’s terrible at making the messenger human.
The screen dehumanizes. When people disagree or are threatened by what you post, they don’t react to a person, they react to a screen. The screen doesn’t feel and it doesn’t hurt. This disconnect frees people from their social inhibitions, allowing them to say and do things they would never do to a real live person. They forget that there is a person behind that screen.
- Humanize yourself.
Remember, your critic is talking to your screen. You’ll benefit from showing them that you’re human.
Don’t retreat into self-pity or retaliate. Rather, respond with grace, class and humility. Explain yourself and your rationale. When appropriate, apologize to the critic who didn’t find value in your work. Show your humanity. You’ll be shocked by how often bullies back down once they get some attention.
And there’s one more thing – the 24-hour rule: It’s often best to sleep on constructive criticism before responding so as not to act defensively. When we give ourselves time and space away from the problem we can come back to it with a more objective and considered opinion
The unfortunate reality of sharing our work with the world is that the more people who see it, the more criticism you will inevitably receive. It’s important to keep this in perspective though, always remaining positive and focusing instead on the impact that your work will have and not seeking the approval of others.
So, that’s it for today guys. I really hope you have enjoyed today’s episode. THANK YOU SO MUCH for all your support and for listening to this English bite. If you have any suggestion, anything you’d like to learn from our English Bites, please let me know alright?
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Take care of yourselves and I’ll see you on the next one. Bye